Thursday, September 16, 2010

A Guest post from my BFF, Helen

I asked Helen to write a guest post for Nate's 1-year anniversary with Type 1 and I know it was not easy for her.  She is such a wonderful friend and I know she would do almost anything for me --- I just wasn't sure she would do this!  So, I am (as always) eternally grateful for my dear friend and her unwavering friendship!

Although, I do have to make one correction to her story --- I can do that because it's my blog!!!  :)~

You see we have this ongoing argument about the smart a** comment that she made to me the day I called her and told her that I thought Nate had diabetes.  I'll make the correction below in RED.  :)
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Oh Laura. She has asked me to write a little something to acknowledge Nate’s 1st anniversary since being diagnosed (Dx Day). What she doesn’t know is that I have attempted to write her letters throughout the past year but my heavy heart has prevented me from finding the right words. But since she asked nicely, I’m going to give it another go. May the rambling begin….

The first time I met Laura at a Gymboree class six years ago, I felt as if we were sisters in a past life. Our eldest children, Emma and Gabrielle, have been inseparable ever since. We went along for years living our ideal lives in our suburban bubble. We went happily along enjoying our weekly play-dates, girls night outs, and family vacations. I was ever so excited when we were pregnant together with our youngest children, Nate and Sam. And Laura was gracious enough to provide Sam with his future bride, Sophie (he loves older women!). We basically bred our own little cult of best friends. Life was easy and uncomplicated. Who knew that September 17th, 2009 would shake up our little bubble.

Houston - Becka Family Easter 2009


I’ll never forget having lunch at Blue Goose with a group of girlfriends and our little ones. Nate was desperately drinking diet coke, water, and whatever else he could get his hands on. He couldn’t get enough. A day later, Nate continuously overflowed his diapers at school, and then I received a phone call from Laura that I’ll never forget. In classic Laura style, she googled his symptoms and said she thought Nate might have juvenile diabetes. I told her to stop jumping to conclusions and just stop feeding the boy salty chips (She said salty PEANUTS not CHIPS!). How I wish I was right and Laura was wrong.  It’s been a crazy journey ever since.

Since Nate’s diagnosis, I have succumbed to a spectrum of emotions. As Laura knows well, I’m not one to share my feelings. However, since most of you are complete strangers, I feel ever so comfortable sharing them with you today.

Guilt-
I feel guilty when I put my children to bed every night and thank God that they are all healthy knowing that Laura cannot do the same. I feel guilty that my friend has not had a peaceful night of sleep since Dx Day. I feel guilty that my 2 year old can eat and drink whatever he pleases. I feel guilty when I complain that my children have a runny nose or cough. I feel guilty that my friend has to bear this huge burden every moment of every day.

Loss
I miss my friend. I miss the daily mundane way life used to be without type 1 in our lives. Nate’s disease has consumed all of Laura’s time and energy. Even though I applaud her for her commitment to Nate, I can’t help but feel a sense of loss (and I feel guilty about that too). I miss being able to drop the kids off at school and going to get a coffee with my friend. I miss seeing Nate’s little face in the hallway at Mother’s Day Out.  I miss looking at Laura and not seeing a sense of worry in her eyes. I miss the way life was supposed to be in our little suburban bubble. 

Nate and Sam's 1st Day of School


Pride
I can’t be more proud of Laura and I’m honored to be her friend. She has attacked Nate’s disease with a mother’s furor that I’ve never witnessed before. Laura epitomizes what it means to be a mother. She lives for her children and she IS Nate’s lifeline.  Emma, Sophie, and Nate are a reflection of their mother and they are wonderful, loving, happy, strong, and generous little people. They would make any mother proud.

Hope
Most of all, I am hopeful. I’m hopeful that there will be a cure for type 1 in Nate’s life time. I’m hopeful that Laura will eventually get a good night’s rest. I’m hopeful that life will become mundane once again. And I’m hopeful that the Houston-Becka friendship lasts for generations to come. 

In closing, I have a personal note for my dear friend. I want you to know that if you are sad, I will be here to help put a smile on your face. When you are angry and need someone to scream at, I will be here to take the brunt. When Nate is having a bad day and you are in tears, I will be here to wipe away the waterworks. If you feel like you’re going crazy, I will be here to remind you that we are all a little nuts. If you run out of diet coke and need something to keep you awake, I will be here to provide you with an intravenous line. If you are feeling overwhelmed and need to get away, I will be here to drive the getaway car. When you need someone to keep you company when Nate’s numbers are all over the place late at night, I will be here and ready for a slumber party. When you need to raise money for JDRF, I will be here to beg along with you. When you celebrate the triumphs and milestones, I will be here, standing right next to you. No matter what, no matter where, no matter how long, I promise that I will be here.


Thank you, Sweet Helen.  I love you and know that all of the above is true because you have never let me down and have been by my side throughout the past year when so many others have let me down.


Sam and Sophie

Lastly, I just have to say . . .  AREN'T THEY JUST GOING TO MAKE THE CUTEST BABIES ONE DAY?? A VERY, VERY LONG TIME FROM NOW BUT SOME DAY!!!


Sam loves Sophie!!

18 comments:

Cdejulius said...

Helen hit a homerun with this beautifully written post from her heart . . .Laura, cherish the friendships most who stick with you through thick AND thin . . .its so easy to be a friend when everythin is rosy and good . . .and easy to "forget" when times are rough. Maybe its because friends truly don't know what to do or say . . .I recall a case of diet cokes mysteriously showing up on your front porch. . .Jim was out of town and its no easy feat to pack up 3 sleeping kids and make a diet coke run . . .and how many times has she come over late to sit out a low? Cherish the friendship . . My BFF has been so for 35 years . . .she has been through everything with me and I thank God she is in my life . . .Laura, with so much turmoil, you are so blessed to have this lovely gem in your life . . .Thanks Helen for sticking it out through the thick and thin . . .

Cindy said...

What a beautiful post, Helen! Wonderful job!

Penny said...

What a wonderful friend you have in Helen! Great post.

Wendy said...

OMGsh.....make the tears stop!!!!

Friendships like these are so rare. Every mother should have a Helen.

God Bless you, Helen.

Thank you for loving this family unconditionally and your unwavering support.

amy said...

WOW....what a wonderful post...can't stop crying!! True friends are what life is all about....so lucky to have eachother through the good and the bad!!

Alexis of Justices Misbehaving Pancreas said...

Seriously I am at work, AGAIN, in tears. This was an amazing post. I am so happy that Laura has such a wonderful and supportive friend. Something I know alot of us Dmoms honestly no longer have.

By choice? I dont know, but it takes a certain kind of person to show support like what I just read.

WOW.

Shannon said...

This was the most beautiful post ive read in a while! It brought tears pouring down my eyes! I am so happy you have a friend like this!

Reyna said...

Helen, Thank you for being there for my sister in "d" Mama-Hood. I cannot even tell you what this kind of support means to one of us. It is rare to find it. To find a non-d mom who gets us this well. I have one friend too that is like this, her name is Nikki. I am so glad that Laura has her "Nikki" in you. BTW your post was beautifully written...do you blog? XOXO

Heidi / D-Tales said...

Acchhh! Tears are stinging my eyes! Laura, I'm so happy you have Helen in your life! What a blessing she is! We should all be so lucky as to have a friend like her! I'm sure she would say we should all be so lucky as to have a friend like Laura! :)

Amy said...

Ohhhh...m'gosh...the tears won't stop!!! Beautiful, beautiful BEAUTIFUL!!

Hallie said...

Oh Good Hell! I'm sobbing!
Helen- you are a rare and priceless gift. You are an angel. Thank you for being there for my dear D sis. What a blessing!

Nicole said...

Wonderful post that is all I can say right now because I can't see my keyboard through the tears. What a wonderful friend you have, thank you Helen for being THERE for Laura!!

Meri said...

Thank you! Thank you sweet Helen for being there for Laura. We love her like a sister and it is awesome to know she has such a wonderful friend by her side.

I'm honestly in tears, you are the friend every Type 1 Mother needs. You totally "get it" and that is a wonderful gift!

Denise said...

Where is my tissue?
Laura, this week you have shown us how lucky you are to have such great friends and family to support you on this journey.
Helen, thank you for sharing this and what it feels like to be on the non-D side.

Lorraine of "This is Caleb..." said...

That's just lovely. Helen is a treasure. :)

Lora said...

WOW! When I stop blubbering, maybe I will have something else.

diabetic neuropathy treatment said...

I big rock's stuck in my throat and I'm all teary-eyed. I wish we all had BFFs like Helen. She's a true friend indeed. And I find it cute that you are playing matchmakers to your two kids. Imagine if it really happens!

Stephanie said...

Oh my...I have a friend just like Helen that I wrote about today. We are so lucky to have such great friends in our lives. Your post brought me to tears.

Stephanie
www.mylifeasapancreas.blogspot.com