Wednesday, September 17, 2014


Today has been 5 years since Nate's diagnosis.
I remind myself of this daily.

  Five years.

I've been watching the calendar and watching this day creep up for weeks now.  And for weeks I have been planning a very upbeat blog post to tell everyone how wonderful Nate and I are and how we have come so far that I rarely even let diabetes slow us down anymore.  Which is mostly true but man . . . . the last few weeks have kicked my rear.  Diabetes is not cooperating no matter what I do.

He's high.


He's low.

He's 44 double arrow down at school and about to pass out, feeling dizzy, he's rushed to the nurses office.

I make the smallest of changes .05 less basal to be exact and he's high --- so, so high.  Nearly 400 at school.

There has not been one 'good day' in weeks.  WEEKS people.  Diabetes is being a major asshole and I am exhausted and feel terrible for how terrible Nate must be feeling.  I honestly don't remember ever having so many peaks and valleys since his diagnosis --- 5 YEARS AGO.

I stole this pic from Alexis --- I heart it!!

So, even though I thought for sure I was going to blog about the rainbows and unicorns -- I'm just not feeling it.  Although I rarely cry over Nate's diagnosis or diabetes anymore last week I had a major meltdown.  After 7 nights of no sleep and just fighting the numbers I did it --- I broke down and cried.
It had been a while.

Did it help?  Not really but sometimes it just needs to happen.

As I sit here this morning trying to wrap up this post that was supposed to be upbeat and reassure everyone that after 5 years I am totally fine with Nate's diagnosis and diabetes it has become clear that I am not always fine with it.  Some days are fine.  Some days are not.  I don't dwell on it but I do allow myself to feel it, be sad about it and even very occasionally melt down but I can no longer live there.  That is not healthy for any of is in this family.  One day last week I wanted to just throw my hands up and say -- that's it!  I'm done!!  But that isn't an option!  I know the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is so overplayed (Thanks for that, Kelly Clarkson) but it is true.  I will get it all figured out and be stronger for it.  There will be a few weeks of calm, maybe even dare I say a few months of calm before the next storm hits and I will enjoy the calm, I will embrace the calm and I will LOVE the calm.  PLEASE bring on the calm!!

The only thing that is consistent with Type 1 Diabetes is that it is never consistent.
I know this.  This will pass and we will be fine.

All that really matters is that Nate is fine. He is wonderful and he is so brave.  I don't even know who Nate would be today without diabetes.  He's had it for so much longer than he hasn't.  I don't know who either of us would be.  We have both changed in so many ways over the past 5 years.  He has become big, strong and brave and well, I have become old, tired and mostly grumpy (that's a post for another day --- The Side Effects of Type 1 on D Moms).

I am the only one in my world that knows what today is --- I don't think anyone else realizes.  Is it like that for all families?  Nate was too young to remember as were the girls.  His dad doesn't know the date and I'm pretty sure no one else does either except for the other D moms out there that had a child diagnosed on this day too.  It was the worst day of my life and I remember every horrifying moment of it like it was yesterday.  The very thought of that day 5 years ago has me crying now.  UGH!  Ok, so now I have had 2 diabetes meltdowns this year.  That's really not too bad!!

To read about Nate's diagnosis -- click here.

Please read below for the symptoms of Type 1 Diabetes which is often misdiagnosed as a virus or the flu then watch the attached video and share the information.  You could save a life!!

From the JDRF website:

Symptoms of Type 1 Diabetes

Knowing the warning signs for type 1 diabetes (medically known as diabetes mellitus) could save a life.
Symptoms of type 1 diabetes (these may occur suddenly):
  • Extreme thirst
  • Frequent urination
  • Sudden vision changes
  • Sugar in urine
  • Fruity, sweet, or wine-like odor on breath
  • Increased appetite
  • Sudden weight loss
  • Drowsiness, lethargy
  • Heavy, labored breathing
  • Stupor, unconsciousness
If you or someone you love exhibits one or more of these symptoms, call a doctor immediately.

Education about the symptoms of type 1 diabetes is critical because type 1 can easily be mistaken for more common illnesses, such as the flu, and misdiagnosis can have tragic consequences. JDRF has literature which lists the symptoms and treatments of type 1 diabetes and hypoglycemia (low blood sugar)–available for download here.
As many as 3 million Americans may have type 1 diabetes. Each year, more than 15,000 children and 15,000 adults – approximately 80 people per day – are diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in the U.S.
Knowing the symptoms of type 1 diabetes can save a life. Please share what you’ve learned with everyone–family, friends, teachers, doctors. Until a cure is found, the more who know, the more lives will be saved.
Help JDRF raise awareness about the symptoms of type 1 diabetes–a chronic, debilitating autoimmune disease that affects adults as well as children. As with many diseases, early diagnosis goes a long way toward preventing serious health problems, and even death.

Today it has been 5 years since Nate's diagnosis.

I am thankful I listened to my gut and took him in and would not leave until I had answers.  I am thankful for the community of other families that live with type 1 diabetes that have supported us and have become our family.  I am thankful that I have been given the opportunity to help other families and I am thankful that I am able to educate on Type 1 daily and hope that I can be as much help to others as they have been to me.

I am thankful for Nate and all of the brave people living with Type 1 Diabetes.

Brave Miniature Humans!


Thursday, August 14, 2014

Nightscout / CGM in the Cloud and How We Roll . . . #WeAreNotWaiting

Because blogging every 6 months or so seems to be my new pattern I'm going to go ahead and hammer one out . . . 

But really - - - I'm so super excited about something and I want to share it with everyone!  

My friend, Hallie at The Princess and the Pump and I have been following a grass roots movement for a while, we both joined the FB group, CGM in the Cloud a few months ago and stealthly read every post and looked at every photo before deciding to jump on board (FINALLY!!) and set up our own Nightscout systems.   What is Nightscout also known as CGM in the Cloud?  Well, it's probably way more technical than I can explain so I will refer you to the site and the set up instructions after I try to tell you my version . . . 

Our Dexcom G4 CGM (continuous glucose monitor) receiver is now plugged into an Android Moto G telephone.  There is an awesome and amazing and magical app on the Moto G that takes the Dexcom information and sends it to a magical cloud and that magical cloud sends the data to my very real iPhone, iMac and iPad.  I love magic!  My iPhone is connected to my Pebble SmartWatch via bluetooth.  Some really smart person that developed all of the magic listed above also created a magical app for the Pebble which gets the data from the iPhone and displays it on my watch!!  Did I already say that I love magic?  

Ok, I know it's not really magic but like I said I will leave all the techy details to the amazing parents that developed this fantastic tool.  Here is a copy and paste from the CGM in the Cloud page on Facebook:

CGM in the Cloud is a group to share your experience with a CGM remote monitoring system, Nightscout, allowing real time access to a Dexcom G4 CGM from web browsers via smartphones, computers, tablets, and the pebble smart-watch. Dexcom G4 CGM data is just a glance away:

Want to get started?

The Nightscout system requires a Dexcom G4 CGM, a USB OTG cable, an Android device, and free cloud-hosting service such as azure or heroku. If things go smoothly, it can be set up in about an hour. If you run into speed bumps, there is an extensive support network here on Facebook, and here on the forum:

The members are not willing to wait for an approved solution and instead are working out the bugs with Nightscout’s open source code. The system is not something that you can purchase from Dexcom, not something you can download from the Google Play or Pebble App store but an imperfect system that requires work to install, support and equipment to purchase. If you want a perfect system, this is not for you, but if you want an educational tool so your kids/friends/girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse/parents can be monitored while they are in another room, in another state, at a play date, sleepover, sports activity, or even at school or work than please read more. We are closer than ever to the prospect of a safer, more effective, less burdensome life with type 1 diabetes for millions of people and WE ARE NOT WAITING!

CGM in the Cloud and its support infrastructure: created and maintained by volunteers on nights and weekends; people who live with diabetes and understand the burden of "not knowing the number". All we ask is that you Pay it Forward.

The group is fantastic!  You can ask questions or do a search and most likely find an answer to anything you can think of asking --- someone has probably already asked it and the kind people in the group have jumped in and helped solve the problem!   There are over 4500 members of the Facebook group but I believe at last count only around 400-500 actual users.  

Nightscout has given Nate just the freedom that he needs at just the right time!  He's SIX now and going into 1st grade (I know --- whaaaaat?).  He likes to roam the 'hood, hang with the neighborhood kiddos and play outside with his friends (without mom hovering like a crazy person).

I'm also loving the freedom it's given me!  These pictures below are of me out on my 1st run while leaving Nate at home with an older neighborhood friend and Emma Leigh!  It was fantastic.  They all felt like they were getting a little bit of freedom and honestly I really needed that run!  I know there are running apps for the Pebble but 1) I really like my Nike watch and B) I didn't want to have to switch between Pebble faces to see Nate's number and my running stats.  I'm perfectly aware that I looked like a big dork --- I don't care!

Photos from Nightscout/CGM in the Cloud:

My out of pocket cost for this set up was not too bad --- the Pebble smart-watch is optional!  
Moto G Phone (at Target)  ----  $59.99
Nintendo DS Case to carry it -  $9.00
Cables needed for Nightscout - $10.00
Pebble Smart Watch -----------   $150.00 

I activated the Moto G on the Ting network using a referral code from another Nightscouter and then Hallie used my referral code which gives me a $25.00 credit for both so there are no charges yet but I've heard on average it will run about $9 per month.  If you are thinking about setting it up on the Ting network my referral code is:    that code will give you a $25 credit!!

It uploads data to any computer, smart phone, tablet or computer so the Pebble is absolutely not necessary but makes it work very well for us!  

I also wanted to include this video that Emma, Nate and I made yesterday about how we carry our Diabetes supplies around --- including the OmniPod PDM and the Nightscout set up.  The last time we made a video about our "D" Bag was in April of 2011 ---- you can watch that one HERE and you should watch it because it's so funny and cute and Nate and the girls were so teeny tiny and adorable!

So, here is the new video:

You have to watch the video to see how we are going to roll out Nightscout at school --- if you have any questions . . .shoot me an email at or message me on Facebook:

And as of right now this video will not load on YouTube or on Blogger so I may throw my iMac and iPhone out the window at any moment.  Hopefully, by the time this posts everything will be loaded.  If not, well I'll go with Plan B.  I don't have a Plan B yet but I'll figure it out!

It loaded!!  YIPPPPEEEEE!!!

Thanks for stopping by and please go check out Nightscout because #WeAreNotWaiting.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Merry Belated Christmas

I've received a couple of emails this weekend from people commenting about different posts on HWHAP.  I love getting feedback from readers and then getting to know them via email or Facebook.  It makes it all so much more real.  Anyway, having received several emails this weekend it made me want to dust off the blog and bring it up to date.  I will start here:

We had family pictures taken before Christmas so I thought I would share a few of them here.  The kiddos have all gotten so big!!  This year Nate will be 6, Sophie will be 8 and Emma & Lexi turn 10!!

I guess I could have changed the card to a Happy New Year card but meh . . . Merry  Christmas!

Photo credit to Simply Indelible ---- Angela did such a great job taking quick shots and capturing the precocious personalities of all of our littles.  

Keep Calm and Christmas On?

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Brand New Me

To say that I hate the above picture is a complete understatement.  UGH!  That photo was taken a few years ago along with some other really great photos of my littles but I never shared the one above with anyone! My kids are adorable - duh!  If I could crop myself out it would be perfect!

When this photo was taken I was still spinning from both diabetes and Crohn's. Although you cannot tell it in this photo, Sophie was very, very sick and I believe we ended up in the hospital for a week just a few days after this was taken!  I knew the photo shoot was coming up and it was all I could do to get clothes picked out for the minis.  I didn't even give myself a 2nd thought.  I remember the morning so clearly getting everyone ready and then thinking ---- what the hell am I going to wear? Do I even own makeup anymore? Do any of my clothes even fit right now?

The answers were:

Who the hell knows!
Not much makeup!
Nope, nothing fits!

I knew I didn't feel comfortable with my looks that day but it wasn't until we got the proofs back that I really took a look at myself and wondered who I had become.  Since the birth of Ms. Emma Leigh my weight had gone up and down -- that will happen when you are pregnant every 2 years or so!

I think the above picture is my heaviest ---- Size 14.  Yes, size 14.
Did I just admit that here? 

I'll add a few cute photos of Emma here because she rarely gets any FaceTime on HWHAP:

Ok, back to my point . . . had I gotten to that yet?  I started looking at old pictures and got totally distracted!

This post is supposed to be about me.  So, my weight has fluctuated a lot since having kiddos but I had gotten down to a comfortable size 6 after I lost the Nate weight.  I was totally happy at a 6.

Until . . . . dun dun dun . . . Nate was diagnosed.  You all know how hard that was blah blah blah -- I've blogged that to death.  Then Sophie was diagnosed with Crohn's and blah blah blah it was hard again.  My point being after those 2 major life changing events I totally lost myself.  I no longer cared.  I gave up on me.  I was just trying to survive the day to day of raising 3 kids along with diabetes and Crohn's in the mix.  I think my weight went up to an 8 and then a 10 again which isn't a huge deal to some but I am 5'2" and fluctuated between a size 2 and 4 before I had Emma.

Then last summer I lost a lot of weight due to stress and other factors that are not bloggable but then as soon as I got happy again I started gaining and gaining and before I knew it I had yo-yo'd back up!

Same photo shoot as above.  I call those my lunch lady arms! 
(No offense to lunch ladies or their arms!)

Then in January of this year I turned forty! FORTY! Why do I keep admitting these things?! 

I started trying to lose weight again in March when during spring break I couldn't fit into any of my clothes. What the what?!?!?! 
So, I started dieting hard in March and was feeling totally frustrated and depressed by the end of April with NO results. Had my metabolism changed so much so quickly?? UGH!
Meanwhile, my friend Shay had started taking a supplement called Plexus Slim to help her lose weight. When she started I scoffed at her for trying it and down right laughed in her face when she tried to persuade me to take it too. Until, she lost 8 pounds on a two-week trial. She had me at 8 pounds...
I started taking the Plexus Slim and an Accelerator pill each day the 1st part of May and was down to where I wanted to be within 30 days. It sounds crazy but I promise it worked that fast for me. I didn't weigh but I had a pair of shorts that sat on my bathroom sink and I would try them on each week until they fit. They'd been sitting there since spring break!!
After 30 days on Plexus I decided to do another 30 days to maintain and now I just take the pink drink because I love how healthy I feel.

I need to add that I have NEVER felt better in my life. My energy level is off the is crazy. I also feel like it has helped my anxiety level so much. I am just happy! I know it sounds crazy. I am actually still taking the Plexus Slim drink, not the accelerator, because it makes me feel so great.

To recap --- I was needing a size 8 when I started, my goal was size 4 and now I am wearing a size 2. Being the shortie that I am it's not too small or to thin. I still carry some meat in my butt and thighs but that is just how I am built.

I feel like it helps curb my appetite and gives me an extra boost of energy each day. It's really taken away my snack cravings and I can always use the boost after a night of checking blood sugars. #DMommaProblems
I was already working out and running before I started Plexus - I didn't change anything there but my results after starting Plexus are quite noticeable. I've read many testimonials where people say they changed absolutely nothing and still lost weight.
After I lost the weight people kept asking me how I had gotten so thin so fast . . . I sent Shay so many customers! I would give them Shay's web site and they would order. Finally, she convinced me to become an ambassador and start sharing the products with others since I, and so many people we knew, were having great results and loved it. I told her I am not at all "high pressure" and feel totally uncomfortable trying to get my friends to buy something from me. 
She stressed it was more like sharing a great secret than selling and asked me to commit to putting it on Facebook just once a day. Reluctantly, I did, and now my business is blowing up! I know I am driving most of you crazy with my FB posts! But . . . it truly does sell itself . . .because IT WORKS! Also, it has become a valuable source of income for me so that I can continue to stay home and care for my minis. Working from home is a true blessing as I am able to be at the school with the children whenever they need me.

So, if you want to give it a try for yourself, you can order at my web-site or message me for more information.
My web site is:
The best part is the products are all natural with no stimulants!

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Hostage Negotiations - Type 1 Diabetes and Kindergarten

I started this post back in August when Nate started kindergarten.  I didn't really get further than the title and some brief research on hostage negotiations.  Why hostage negotiations?  Well, during the entire first 6 weeks Nate struggled with school, with bg checks at school, had major meltdowns and started crying every morning before we even left the house for school.  I'm not sure I can adequately describe how completely awful it was.  

I wanted to do the right thing for him, for me and for his teachers.  I asked for advice here and on FB and received so much conflicting advice that it was completely overwhelming.  Should I stay with him at school? Just go up there when it is time to check his bg? Just go up when it is time to bolus? Not go up at all and make him be a the big boy I know he can be?  

I felt like if I did or said the wrong thing this could impact him and the way he feels about school and diabetes for the rest of his life. 

 I did actually google hostage negotiations because I felt like those people have to make split second decisions that obviously impact people for the rest of their lives. 

A little dramatic?  Meh . . . maybe but I felt completely overwhelmed by Nate's behavior and really didn't want to damage him for the rest of his life (more so that I probably already have!). 

The one thing that stuck in my head from a FB friend and person with diabetes (PWD) was that some things are negotiable and some things are not.  Checking your bg is non-negotiable.  Going to school is non-negotiable. That's where I started.  I told Nate those 2 things and tried to help him by going to the school to check his bg and bolus for lunch.  That didn't work.  Nate had so many things going on in his little kindergarten noodle . . . 

Separation anxiety, diabetes anxiety, the fear of having someone he didn't know checking his bg, fear of someone besides me giving him insulin, a new school, a long day, new friends, so many unknown that were made worse by fluctuating blood sugar levels because I had no idea where to start with school basals! 

When Shay wrote the following statement to me, I don't think any of us knew just how accurate  it would be:  

Monday, Nate starts kindergarten and everything will NOT be all right. It will be a stressful, fucked up, bloody nightmare. Literally - there will be blood. There will be tears; yours and his and possibly innocent bystander's. There will be panic attacks, yelling, second guesses, sleeplessness (more so than usual), and Tommy Lee Jones may be there to announce, "we have a runner; search every out house, farm house, and locker." If, by chance, Nate makes it to his class, you may get the call that he has taught everyone a few new choice words like - oh I don't know - holy shitballs, for instance.

Nate literally would run out of class, he would kick and scream, he would cry, he clung so tightly to me that I could not get him off of me.  At one point, I had gone to the school to help with his lunch bolus and he threw such a crazy fit that I had to run and hide in the office from him and watch 2 teachers, the vice principal and school counselor carry him down the hall kicking and screaming.  I looked at that child with a blank stare, as teared were rolling down my face, I literally did not know who that boy was at that moment.  That is not the way Nate behaves and I had no idea what to do.  I told the staff that his bg levels were at a safe range and to please treat him the same as they would any other student that was behaving that way.  So, they did. I got a call about 15 minutes later from the VP to let me know that he had calmed down and he wanted her to send me a picture of him playing with play doh and behaving.  What a relief that was for me. 

Isn't he freaking adorable? He's so stinking cute, he's my only boy and he's my baby.  I couldn't help it --- all of this school drama broke my heart.  I cried a lot.  I cried when he cried, I cried when he didn't cry and I cried because I just didn't want him to cry anymore!! Sweet, sweet boy!!

We tried a lot of different things throughout the first 6 weeks to get him comfortable and happy at school.  What worked for us may or may not work for you, you may think I am the worst mom ever or the best one on the planet . . . . your life, your kid, and your diabetes may vary!

  • Nate had to check his sugar.  That was not negotiable.  He made the choice to do it himself and not let the nurse do it.  That worked for me and it worked for him.  I think it gave him a little bit of control that he needed to feel more comfortable with all of the changes going on.
  • If he threw a tantrum and refused to go into class (sometimes this could take up to 10 minutes) then he would lose privileges.  If he couldn't act like a big boy and make big boy choices then he would lose his big boy privileges.  He lost his iPad a few times and he thought that was the end of the world!
  • Ian started taking him to school.  Part of the problem was separation anxiety from me so he seemed to do a little bit better each day when Ian took him.  He still cried and had to be reminded to make big boy choices but this was the beginning of big changes for Nate.  
  • We did a lot of positive reinforcement. If/when he made the choice to go into class and make good choices he was rewarded by us and by his teacher.  There were days that he refused to take his backpack off all day.  Gradually it started coming off earlier and earlier and he was rewarded for his good choice.  He now goes into class, removes his backpack and starts the day with a smile!!
  • His teacher is amazing!  She is so patient!  She also kept the communication with us open with daily emails, text messages and morning updates when Ian dropped Nate off.  She was a huge part of him getting over this hump!  

Nate actually loves school now although he won't admit it.  When I am there he hardly acknowledges me and will certainly not give me any hugs or kisses.  He's made new friends and really seems to enjoy learning!  

This was certainly one of the harder things we've had to deal with since his diagnosis and I did at times think things would NEVER get better but they did.  They always do.  

Tough times don't last . . . tough people do!!  

Nate is one tough little dude!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Crazy, Happy Shamae

October 28, 2009 is the day that Shamae found me.  Nate has been diagnosed with Type 1 for just over a month and I felt like I was drowning in sadness, overwhelmed by diabetes and longing for a community of people that understood how I felt.  She commented on my blog post that day and so began a friendship that will remain in my heart forever.  She played a huge role in helping me survive the darkest time in my life. How do you repay someone for that?

When we 1st met online there was a smaller group of D mommy bloggers and we all read and commented on each other's posts religiously.  We became a family.  Commenting, texting, calling and those amazing Sunday night chats.  I looked forward to those chats all week.  I can vividly remember our conversations.  We shared about diabetes and so much more.  We laughed and cried on those chats and the bond we formed became unbreakable.  Unbreakable!

Life moved forward and the Type 1 Mom blogging community exploded!  We found each other on Facebook and the Sunday night chats faded.  Our littles got older and our blog posts grew further apart but my friendship with Shamae did not.  She was so good about calling and texting.  We texted each other so much sometimes just to say I love you that we had our own code for it . . . DNQ.

As I learned of her passing this weekend I read countless posts from D moms all over the country saying the same things.  She was the 1st D Mom that they met online, she always had a smile on her face, she was a lifeline to them, she would call or text and lift their spirits with her kind words . . . it goes on and on.  Not that I thought I had the exclusive on Shamae's friendship but I have been BLOWN AWAY by how many people she touched.

I do not think for one minute that this post is an adequate tribute to such an amazing woman.  If I could find the words to tell you what is in my broken heart right now it might begin to do her justice.

I hope her family knows and is comforted by the fact that Shamae's strength, love and support helped build a community of strong moms that will continue her legacy by always supporting one another! We will also openly welcome  mothers with newly diagnosed children into the community with love just like she did for all of us.

It is what she would want us to do.

Sham made this awesome video years ago. I can't stop watching it and thinking about how far we have come and how so much of that has to do with her!!

Thank you, Shamae for everything.  I love you. DNQ! 

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Kindergarten & Best Friends

Most of you know that Nate starts kindergarten this year.  I've known it was coming and made all of the preparations I know to make.  Last week I was overly stressed about completing Nate's 504 meeting and training the staff on how to care for him.  I was literally in tears for days and poured my heart out to my friend, Shay.  I told her how hard it is to navigate all of this alone and that I was feeling completely overwhelmed.  Not many friends understand, really understand what it takes to care for Nate.  Truthfully, only another parent with a T1 child can know the stress and fear that I have about sending Nate to school and trusting that someone else will keep him alive.

The next morning as I prepared for my meetings and got cleaned up for the day I heard the front door open and in walked Shay!  She came over to go with me to the training and to the 504 meetings for both Sophie and Nate.  I had been quietly crying that morning and was seriously thinking to myself --- I just cannot do this -- is it too late to look into homeschooling?  I know Shay would do anything for me, Ian and for my children but I was blown away by this seemingly small gesture.  Having someone by your side during a difficult time always makes it a bit easier and this was no exception.

She stayed with me through the training and the 504 meetings which lasted over 3 hours all together.  The training went great and I'm feeling good about our school nurse and her back up which is the office manager (whose son happens to have T1).  In the 504 meeting we met with the nurse, the VP, the school counselor, the PE coach (also the head of all specials teachers), both of Sophie's teachers and Nate's kinder teacher.  It was almost like we were old friends! They wanted to know all about Nate and Sophie, both of their diagnosis stories, but mostly they wanted to know what they needed to know and what they needed to do to keep them both safe and healthy.  We laughed, we cried and we put plans in place.  Shay chimed in and gave her opinion and most importantly helped me keep my composure in a very important yet emotional meeting.

Shay knows what I do for all of my babies, she knows I don't sleep, she knows about Crohn's and diabetes and she knows how passionate I am about both.  She's done research on her own about T1 and CD and is pretty knowledgeable but I think even she was emotionally exhausted after the training and meetings.  She now has even more of an understanding of how much has to be done to prepare a school to keep both of these sweet babies safe.

I'm so lucky to have Shay in my life!

On Friday she posted the following message to me on FB:

Dear Laura,

Monday, Nate starts kindergarten and everything will NOT be all right. It will be a stressful, fucked up, bloody nightmare. Literally - there will be blood. There will be tears; yours and his and possibly innocent bystander's. There will be panic attacks, yelling, second guesses, sleeplessness (more so than usual), and Tommy Lee Jones may be there to announce, "we have a runner; search every out house, farm house, and locker." If, by chance, Nate makes it to his class, you may get the call that he has taught everyone a few new choice words like - oh I don't know - holy shitballs, for instance.

Once the dust settles, then you will worry more. Did the nurse check his bs after PE? (you're welcome) Did he get bolused? Has his alarm gone off and nobody noticed? Did some well meaning kid share few twinkies in the lunch room without a teacher seeing? And at the end of each school day you will rush to the school and hug Nate tightly and never want to let him go, just because he made it through the day and is alive.

But on the bright side---> there is no bright side. Diabetes is a MOTHERFUCKER. However, if anyone is an ass-kicking diabetes rockstar, it is you. You do what you do because you love Nate and you must. There is not a choice. Nate is an amazing little dude who will grow into an amazing man. Sending him to school will never get easier, but it will become just another routine in your "new normal" that you'll have to adapt to.

All that said, thank you for allowing me to join you yesterday at the school for the nurse training and 504 meeting (as if you had a choice). I enjoy being a part of your diabetes world, as crazy as that sounds, and gleaning knowledge and understanding about T1 and what D-parents go through. I am in awe of your organizational skills and ability to educate people, make them laugh, make them cry, and impress the shit out of them simultaneously.

Take solace in knowing everyone is jealous of your bad-assery, though they would never admit to it. You got this shit.


Now that we are all crying ---- that is one bad ass friend that totally knows me, my love of over-cussing in stressful situations, and understands how hard tomorrow is going to be for both me and Nate. 

In case you missed my post about Nate's extreme separation anxiety and how he totally uses the D card to his advantage -- you can read it here {Separation Anxiety & Controlling Diabetes} Tomorow will be overwhelming for all parties involved to say the very least.  

Tonight I read Nate a nice story about kindergarten before bed.  Once done he told me that he HATED kindergarten but would like to wear his new Minecraft shirt tomorrow if he has to go.  ---Seems like a step in the right direction.

So, in conclusion I would like to publicly thank you, Shay for being so supportive and let you know that I bawled like a baby when I read the post but mostly my heart was happy because you get it, you get me and you get D.  Thank you, shit Talking Shay for being so completely fucking bad ass . . . I love you!

PS - even though Ian was talking smack on that post he told me that he teared up when he read it.  You're welcome!  

Shay and Laura - 2013

Shay is in the middle & I'm in back on the right - possibly 1991

It's ok to laugh!

Everyone have a wonderful 1st day back at school.