I asked Helen to write a guest post for Nate's 1-year anniversary with Type 1 and I know it was not easy for her. She is such a wonderful friend and I know she would do almost anything for me --- I just wasn't sure she would do this! So, I am (as always) eternally grateful for my dear friend and her unwavering friendship!
Although, I do have to make one correction to her story --- I can do that because it's my blog!!! :)~
You see we have this ongoing argument about the smart a** comment that she made to me the day I called her and told her that I thought Nate had diabetes. I'll make the correction below in RED. :)
Oh Laura. She has asked me to write a little something to acknowledge Nate’s 1st anniversary since being diagnosed (Dx Day). What she doesn’t know is that I have attempted to write her letters throughout the past year but my heavy heart has prevented me from finding the right words. But since she asked nicely, I’m going to give it another go. May the rambling begin….
The first time I met Laura at a Gymboree class six years ago, I felt as if we were sisters in a past life. Our eldest children, Emma and Gabrielle, have been inseparable ever since. We went along for years living our ideal lives in our suburban bubble. We went happily along enjoying our weekly play-dates, girls night outs, and family vacations. I was ever so excited when we were pregnant together with our youngest children, Nate and Sam. And Laura was gracious enough to provide Sam with his future bride, Sophie (he loves older women!). We basically bred our own little cult of best friends. Life was easy and uncomplicated. Who knew that September 17th, 2009 would shake up our little bubble.
|Houston - Becka Family Easter 2009|
I’ll never forget having lunch at Blue Goose with a group of girlfriends and our little ones. Nate was desperately drinking diet coke, water, and whatever else he could get his hands on. He couldn’t get enough. A day later, Nate continuously overflowed his diapers at school, and then I received a phone call from Laura that I’ll never forget. In classic Laura style, she googled his symptoms and said she thought Nate might have juvenile diabetes. I told her to stop jumping to conclusions and just stop feeding the boy salty chips (She said salty PEANUTS not CHIPS!). How I wish I was right and Laura was wrong. It’s been a crazy journey ever since.
Since Nate’s diagnosis, I have succumbed to a spectrum of emotions. As Laura knows well, I’m not one to share my feelings. However, since most of you are complete strangers, I feel ever so comfortable sharing them with you today.
I feel guilty when I put my children to bed every night and thank God that they are all healthy knowing that Laura cannot do the same. I feel guilty that my friend has not had a peaceful night of sleep since Dx Day. I feel guilty that my 2 year old can eat and drink whatever he pleases. I feel guilty when I complain that my children have a runny nose or cough. I feel guilty that my friend has to bear this huge burden every moment of every day.
I miss my friend. I miss the daily mundane way life used to be without type 1 in our lives. Nate’s disease has consumed all of Laura’s time and energy. Even though I applaud her for her commitment to Nate, I can’t help but feel a sense of loss (and I feel guilty about that too). I miss being able to drop the kids off at school and going to get a coffee with my friend. I miss seeing Nate’s little face in the hallway at Mother’s Day Out. I miss looking at Laura and not seeing a sense of worry in her eyes. I miss the way life was supposed to be in our little suburban bubble.
|Nate and Sam's 1st Day of School|
I can’t be more proud of Laura and I’m honored to be her friend. She has attacked Nate’s disease with a mother’s furor that I’ve never witnessed before. Laura epitomizes what it means to be a mother. She lives for her children and she IS Nate’s lifeline. Emma, Sophie, and Nate are a reflection of their mother and they are wonderful, loving, happy, strong, and generous little people. They would make any mother proud.
Most of all, I am hopeful. I’m hopeful that there will be a cure for type 1 in Nate’s life time. I’m hopeful that Laura will eventually get a good night’s rest. I’m hopeful that life will become mundane once again. And I’m hopeful that the Houston-Becka friendship lasts for generations to come.
In closing, I have a personal note for my dear friend. I want you to know that if you are sad, I will be here to help put a smile on your face. When you are angry and need someone to scream at, I will be here to take the brunt. When Nate is having a bad day and you are in tears, I will be here to wipe away the waterworks. If you feel like you’re going crazy, I will be here to remind you that we are all a little nuts. If you run out of diet coke and need something to keep you awake, I will be here to provide you with an intravenous line. If you are feeling overwhelmed and need to get away, I will be here to drive the getaway car. When you need someone to keep you company when Nate’s numbers are all over the place late at night, I will be here and ready for a slumber party. When you need to raise money for JDRF, I will be here to beg along with you. When you celebrate the triumphs and milestones, I will be here, standing right next to you. No matter what, no matter where, no matter how long, I promise that I will be here.
Thank you, Sweet Helen. I love you and know that all of the above is true because you have never let me down and have been by my side throughout the past year when so many others have let me down.
|Sam and Sophie|
Lastly, I just have to say . . . AREN'T THEY JUST GOING TO MAKE THE CUTEST BABIES ONE DAY?? A VERY, VERY LONG TIME FROM NOW BUT SOME DAY!!!
|Sam loves Sophie!!|