Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Good Days * Bad Days * Tsunami Days
9:21 PM
The waves continue to come. I’ve had a couple of good days and a couple of bad days. Waves. Today there are a lot of waves. More accurately, today there have been tsunamis. One step forward ten steps backward.
I miss my dad so much. I want to see him. Smell him. Hug him. Just once more! I need more time. Even just one more day. Please, just one more day.
Today has been filled with a lot of crying, really full on sobbing. I’m so damn mad. I have questions to ask him. Things I still want to know. Things that I need to say. I would give anything for just one more day. One more I love you. Once more for him to say my name... Laura Leigh. ❤️
Today I’m filled with regrets, what-ifs, and so much sorrow. Waves.
I also need to say; I have made some forward movement. I’m trying to accomplish one thing every day. Even if that one thing is getting out of bed. Last week I worked out three times. This week my goal is four times. I’ve started taking my Plexus products which have helped my body begin to heal. I’m trying to do a little work each day, but for some reason, it’s a definite trigger. I want to work! I love my job and enjoy helping others so much, but I'm struggling with being able to help others while navigating my way through my sorrow.
There are still days that getting out of bed is all I can accomplish. Afternoons and evenings are my low times, and I allow myself that time. Today though has been exhausting, and I can barely keep my weepy eyes open, yet I know sleep won’t come. It’s such a vicious cycle.
I love looking at pictures of my dad ... this one of him with my grandparents makes me smile!
After my grandfather died, one day my dad & I were out running errands, and when we came to a stop to park, he fell apart. I remember it like it was yesterday, him weeping, and my 18-year old self-trying my very best to comfort him. My dad had felt the intense grief of losing his father. The same pain I’m feeling now. Had I known then how awful it is I would have held him a little longer and a little tighter.
Weeping is perhaps the most human and universal of relief measures. -Karl Menninger
It is incredible how much my dad looked like his dad the older he got. While my dad was in the hospital, I really started noticing how much they resembled one another.
One Breath, One Step. Repeat.
I miss my dad so much. I want to see him. Smell him. Hug him. Just once more! I need more time. Even just one more day. Please, just one more day.
Today has been filled with a lot of crying, really full on sobbing. I’m so damn mad. I have questions to ask him. Things I still want to know. Things that I need to say. I would give anything for just one more day. One more I love you. Once more for him to say my name... Laura Leigh. ❤️
Today I’m filled with regrets, what-ifs, and so much sorrow. Waves.
I also need to say; I have made some forward movement. I’m trying to accomplish one thing every day. Even if that one thing is getting out of bed. Last week I worked out three times. This week my goal is four times. I’ve started taking my Plexus products which have helped my body begin to heal. I’m trying to do a little work each day, but for some reason, it’s a definite trigger. I want to work! I love my job and enjoy helping others so much, but I'm struggling with being able to help others while navigating my way through my sorrow.
There are still days that getting out of bed is all I can accomplish. Afternoons and evenings are my low times, and I allow myself that time. Today though has been exhausting, and I can barely keep my weepy eyes open, yet I know sleep won’t come. It’s such a vicious cycle.
I love looking at pictures of my dad ... this one of him with my grandparents makes me smile!
Don, Daphna, and Bobby Williams |
After my grandfather died, one day my dad & I were out running errands, and when we came to a stop to park, he fell apart. I remember it like it was yesterday, him weeping, and my 18-year old self-trying my very best to comfort him. My dad had felt the intense grief of losing his father. The same pain I’m feeling now. Had I known then how awful it is I would have held him a little longer and a little tighter.
Weeping is perhaps the most human and universal of relief measures. -Karl Menninger
Bobby Don and Don Oscar Williams |
One Breath, One Step. Repeat.

Subscribe to:
Post Comments
(Atom)

Just a Mom
I am NOT a doctor, nor do I play one on this blog.
I AM a wife.
I AM the mom of 3 wonderful children.
I AM my son's pancreas.
The information provided on this blog is from our personal experiences with Type 1 diabetes. Because something works for us does not mean it will work for you.
Please consult your doctor if you have any questions or concerns about your health care options.
I AM a wife.
I AM the mom of 3 wonderful children.
I AM my son's pancreas.
The information provided on this blog is from our personal experiences with Type 1 diabetes. Because something works for us does not mean it will work for you.
Please consult your doctor if you have any questions or concerns about your health care options.
Powered by Blogger.
Grab my button!




Check out these AWESOME
D-rent Blogs . . .
D-rent Blogs . . .
Followers

My Blog List
-
Tangy Peanut Sauce & Veggies3 days ago
-
84 days5 weeks ago
-
-
-
457 months ago
-
A Thing to Remember8 months ago
-
I'm Moving!9 months ago
-
-
MDMV2 years ago
-
The Shift...3 years ago
-
Shadows in Sunshine3 years ago
-
10 years ago...3 years ago
-
Keystone First denial - I win3 years ago
-
-
-
#DAM Drinking Plan4 years ago
-
10th grade4 years ago
-
-
-
The gun in my basement.5 years ago
-
Chronic Illness and Mental Health…5 years ago
-
-
-
Happy Easter 20167 years ago
-
-
-
Hope7 years ago
-
10 Years Ago Today7 years ago
-
UPDATES UPDATES UPDATES7 years ago
-
-
Diabetes Resolutions8 years ago
-
-
-
Worry...Worry...WORRY!9 years ago
-
-
-
-
Goodbye Sweet Friend9 years ago
-
For You, My Friend9 years ago
-
-
For Shamae9 years ago
-
Karen Jensen, RD9 years ago
-
Callan9 years ago
-
-
3 Years9 years ago
-
Email Subscriptions.9 years ago
-
Bye Bye Insulet, Hello Medtronic10 years ago
-
-
Hope on 2 Wheels Documentary10 years ago
-
-
Cross Talk Radio Show Link :)10 years ago
-
Back to School - Our Lunch Time Dilemma10 years ago
-
-
How To Manage Your Stockpile10 years ago
-
Russian Custard10 years ago
-
Diabetes Tourettes11 years ago
-
A story11 years ago
-
10 years11 years ago
-
Were Off to see the Wizard11 years ago
-
I’m Just Not That Into This.11 years ago
-
CBS 5... Shame On You!11 years ago
-
JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes11 years ago
-
totally random11 years ago
-
I think I can breath again11 years ago
-
-
Weekend Meme11 years ago
-
Think positive...12 years ago
-
Lipoatrophy12 years ago
-
-
-
Weekly Sugar Bolus12 years ago
-
-
Missing.....12 years ago
-
I'm BACK!12 years ago
-
-
SleepOVERS!!!13 years ago
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
0 comments:
Post a Comment