Saturday, July 30, 2011

Not a Popularity Contest - Thank Goodness

This post probably will not win me any popularity contests with the PWD in the DOC and I'm just going to have to be ok with that.  Don't get me wrong --- I love PWD.  Really, I do!!  

I also love reading PWD blogs and getting a glimpse into how Nate's life will someday be . . . 

BUT . . . there are a few out there that have criticized the way the parents of CWD are raising these little ones.

The latest was a blog post which has now been taken down. Sadly, she is a nurse, a camp counselor, a mom, and a fellow Texan.  Those are 4 things that I wish she had considered before blasting parents of CWD and calling the students at the camp "pusses" which she later changed to "wusses".  After reading Wendy's post about the same person I have decided not to link to her blog and although I really wanted to call her out and link to the camp -- I won't.  I will say this . . . it is a very popular camp here in Texas and the fact that she posted from the camp during the 1st session of diabetes camp made me steaming mad.

Here's the deal --- it's not the 1st time I've read a PWD criticizing parents of children with diabetes.  I'm going to be quite honest with you ---- I don't give a rat's patootie if you had an a1c of 12.6, had to pee on a stick, wait 5 minutes to find out your bg, or use harpoon size injection needles.  That's just not what we do now.  As my friend Reyna always says --- when you know better - you do better. 

Why are we being criticized for making diabetes a little bit easier for our children?

Who cares if we use EMLA or ice packs and who cares if we don't.  Yes, we put our babies on insulin pumps and continuous glucose monitors --- are you telling me you wouldn't?

We check Nate's bg multiple times per night --- why does that bother you so much? He sleeps for 12 hours. That's 1/2 of his a1c and a heck of a long time to go without a bg check. Oh yea --- and he's 3.  He's growing at an unimaginable rate which makes his blood glucose levels CraZy.

I wish that people would just stop and think about things before they start to openly criticize a parent.  First, if you are not a parent then you have know idea just how hard being one is so please just shut it.  If you are a parent and a person with diabetes then how can you not put yourself in my place? I mean have you really not one time thought about your own child being diagnosed with type 1?  Would you not want the very best for your own child?  None of us are perfect.  We are all just trying to survive the everyday ups and downs of parenting a child with type 1 (and many of us have multiple children with T1 or other diseases/disorders) the very best we know how. 

My son, Nate was 14-months old when he was diagnosed with type 1 and although we have never used EMLA I am not opposed to it.  For six months after his diagnosis he was receiving 3 or 4 shots per day.  We were holding him down while he was SCREAMING, BEGGING, CRYING for us not to hurt him.  It was heartbreaking.  You cannot explain to a 1-year old that you are helping him live. He's now 3 and wears the OmniPod and Dexcom and yes he still occasionally cries about site changes but he is no WUSS!  Let me say that again . . . my son does cry but he is NO WUSS.

Just thinking about that post I read has me all fired up again --- how dare you call any child a puss or a wuss? What kind of person does that?  Much less, the children these parents have entrusted you to look after and guide through diabetes camp! 

Believe me if Nurse Mom from Texas  is still on the counselor list when it is time for Nate to go to camp we will be taking our son elsewhere.  Nate is way too wonderful to be brought down by that kind of negativity.  I truly hope the children at camp this session were able to enjoy themselves and not be made to feel like they are anything less than spectacular!

That is all.  Stepping down from my soap box now.

Keep calm and carry on -

19 comments:

Alexis Nicole said...

A freakin men!!

I don't care who you are, what you've done or think you've done when you start attacking parents and much worse kids you've crossed a line.

I love this post. I love you. I love Natey poo and I love our Dmama club!

She can suck it. Hard. (Too much?)

Lora said...

I didn't get to read it. Part of me hopes that some of the parents from the camp did so that maybe she won't be asked back. There is no excuse for such behavior.

Stephanie said...

Amen! The more I think...the more mad I get. Our kids are NOT wusses! Ugh.

Joanne said...

Well said, Laura. And for those of you who can't handle the fact that we check our kiddos at night, my daughter was 67 and dropping at a time when her BG should have been going up (from her uncovered bedtime snack). I had no reason to check her. The dexcom didn't catch up (and was showing her flat at 139) until almost 10 minutes later when it showed 59 with double arrows down. Something just told me I needed to check her, so I did.

We know our kids best. Sometimes I wonder why these people feel the need to open up their big mouths.

Hallie said...

Well said. It makes me think about how before I had a child, I thought I knew a little of what it was like to parent because I was a teacher. hahahahahaha! Nope! It is so different when it's your child.... Those without T1 kiddos shouldn't judge. Even if they THINK they know... You just can't completely know unless it happens to you. I would think twice about that camp. It makes me wonder what the rest of the staff is like.... Just that seed of doubt. I'm sure they are wonderful. But still.... Inappropriate. To say the least.

Jessica said...

Love you, cajones and all! :) You make me proud to be your friend.

Wendy said...

We're all rowing the same boat. Beating each other up only hurts our community.

When I first read it, I was steaming...but then my heart just felt sad. What was the point? To belitte children? To make parents doubt the way they care for their kids? To puff up your own ego at the expense of innocent people?

Who does that?????

Michael Hoskins said...

It sucks, diabetes that is. And what parents do is amazing. But it's an individual decision, and there shouldn't be any blanket rule across the board. What works for you or me, may not work for the other. YDMV. So, no one should criticize others when that person has no clue what individual decisions may be at play in the house. Again, as you say: times are different, and we're so much better. How parents of CWD teach their kids to grow up is rightfully their own choice. Regardless of whether I agree with your D-Management or not isn't relevant, it's just mean and self-serving to try and push my own mentality onto others when it may not apply. So, preach on Laura! Your Nate is in good hands, obviously. Don't let that nurse get to you too much or dissuade you from the awesomeness out there.

Michael Hoskins said...

Oh, by the way nurse lady.... I'm currently in the mid-300s, and taking massive insulin to bring myself down. So I'll likely be up at 3:30a testing to make sure my inaccurate meter didn't lie and now I've overdosed to cause a paramedic-summoning Low. I am pampering myself? Maybe. But I'd prefer that then not waking up. By the way, I was diagnosed in 84. And my mom, diagnosed in 58, does the same thing. So, please just go back to living under your rock of perfection where you know it all and D doesn't vary outside of what you think. You're obviously a Legend In Your Own Mind.

Cindy said...

Laura, you're an amazing d-mama and all of the d-mamas out there are doing an incredible job making the decisions that they feel are best for their children. No one should be judging any of us. But, I can honestly say that as a PWD and a mom to a CWD....there is a huge difference and it's one that a PWD can not even begin to comprehend! Diabetes is such a different disease when it's in a teeny tiny little body!

Just a thought...I have no clue who this blogger is, but maybe we should all get together and each send her a roll of duct tape...maybe it would get the point across!

Scully said...

I'm a PWD and after reading Wendy's post I was fuming mad. If anything, I am jealous of the parents of CWD and how they take care of their kids because I wish I was more dedicated to myself. and to reflect what Michael said, I test throughout the night when things are bad. I also test in the middle of the night for weeks on end just to make sure everything is okay from time to time. And y'know what? I never would have thought to do that until I started reading parents of CWD's blogs. seriously. Love you D-parents!!

Reyna said...

Tearing up reading Michael's and Scully's comments.

Laura, I love what you said about the A1Cs ... I totally agree. Not only to catch highs/lows...but the nights are like 1/2 of your A1C. Why not make sure they are holding steady? That, to me...in my opinion...is a NO BRAINER.

And, none of these children are pussies (that is what her original post called them). We are trying to work with them and give them some control where we can so that hopefully, perhaps, they will be well adjusted PWDs throughout their lives.

Holly said...

Me too, Reyna. I didn't get to read it either, but I think maybe I should be thankful. There is no reason to belittle parents doing the best they can for those little ones they love. We'd do ANYthing to make their lives better-even trade them.
I hope she doesn't go back to the camp-I wouldn't want my kids with her. : (

Denise aka 'Mom of Bean' said...

I'd totally vote for you, Laura! :)
Way to continue to put this obnoxious nurse in her place.

Valerie said...

I'm a PWD and think ALL of you D-Mommas are super awesome. I really admire you and have actually learned a few things while reading blogs! I'm catching up on blogs right now, but I don't see why anyone would criticize why any of us do the things that we do to keep ourselves healthy and alive.

Rachael said...

I'm a PWD too. I LOVE D Mamas! You ladies are my heroes! You mean so much, and are brave like your little ones. It hurts me to think that when people are already suffering so much with D, other people think its okay to criticize them. This lady needs fired! Please know that PWD LOVE D Parents, even if some set a bad example!

WendyP said...

Josh is 7, and he won't even consider doing a site change without EMLA. And the thing is . . . why should he have to? Why does he need to go through even more pain than he already does every day to prove he's not a wus? Yes, you can get a tooth pulled without Novocaine, but why? What are you trying to prove? I understand if you don't use it because you don't feel you need it, but if you want it to use it, then to me, the less pain in life the better.

Misty said...

"Why you gotta be so mean?" Sorry that was the first thing that popped into my head. My kids sing this to each other!

I just really can't see anything good coming from this "nurse mom"s post. I am so sad that she may be negatively impacting children at a camp that is supposed to make them feel good about themselves. And since Ally just got back from diabetes camp, I am going to go quiz her on how exactly it came about that she learned to insert her own site. (Truthfully, she went to camp saying that this was her goal.)
They better not have made her feel anything less than spectacular!!

Sarah said...

I do want to add...not for nurse mom, but from another perspective as a watching my husband prior to our son being dx I didn't think d was a "BIG" deal, he just dealt with it and moved on with his lovely day. No biggie. He never had a hospitilazition caused by diabetes, never a need for glucagon, never an ambulance called...so I thought that diabetes was this amazing balance that he knew the secret to and was honestly not too difficult. Then we realized that being an adult dx with d in your teen years is a whole other beast than having a toddler dx with d. That d is handled differently now than it was when he was dx in the 80's and that yes, shit happens to even the most diligent of people with d so you need to be committed to making every effort to keep things from happening. I guess this nurse has just been darn lucky like my husband had up until his son was dx, she honestly has no clue like he didn't about how difficult it can be for some and is for many. I hope she never has to know this part of d, but at the same time she can obviously learn quite a bit about humility for the time being!