I am sure all D moms around the world have asked themselves this very question. But, tonight as I sit here completely exhausted from lack of sleep I have to wonder - - - will I ever sleep again? Having a wee one with Type 1 is very similar to having a newborn baby. I don't get much sleep, I am completely overwhelmed and unsure of myself, I question everything that I do, it takes a large tote bag to carry everything that I may or may not need to leave the house, I am up at all hours of the night, I go in and check on Nate over and over throughout the night and sometimes just poke him to make sure he will respond - see all of the same things I did when he was a newborn. The problem is this will never go away - ever! Can I really survive on no sleep? How can I possibly sleep through a night when there are so many things that could go wrong? What if he goes too low over night? What if he goes too high? What if . . . What if . . . What if . . . ??
Today is the 2-month anniversary of Nate's Dx. September 17th, 2009 - until that day we were just living this perfectly normal life and today it is so very different. I feel like everyone is so tired of hearing about diabetes and me talking about it all of the time but it is my new world. Everything that I do revolves around my son and his Type 1. Everything! I wake up, check his BGL, calculate how many carbs he will eat, then calculate how much insulin to give him, give him a shot, let him eat and then do it all again pretty much every 2 hours until 7:00 PM when he goes to bed when I can relax a bit until I check him again around 11:00 PM and again at 3:00 AM. Really - this is my new reality and frankly it stinks! So, I will continue to talk about it, live it, breathe it and eat it until there is a cure. Every day Nate's life is in my hands - how scary is that? Anyone that knows me well knows that that is pretty scary! I'm the mom that goes to the grocery store without her wallet, backs into a car in the carpool line, and always forgets to ask my kids if they need to pee before we leave the house (with 2 girls this is such an important step!). I barely passed algebra in high school and now that I've figured out that I really do need it in the real world it's too late to go back and ask for tutoring! I'm also the mom that has 3 fabulous children that I love so much I could just explode and the mom that would walk through fire for any one of them, I am the mom of a little boy with Type 1 diabetes and I will do this everyday for him because I love him to the moon and back.
These are just the ramblings of a super exhausted, overly emotional, slightly crazy D mom! I just checked his BGL and am heading to bed. Good night all . . .