Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Sleepy, Sleepy Mommy

I am sure all D moms around the world have asked themselves this very question.  But, tonight as I sit here completely exhausted from lack of sleep I have to wonder - - - will I ever sleep again?  Having a wee one with Type 1 is very similar to having a newborn baby.  I don't get much sleep, I am completely overwhelmed and unsure of myself, I question everything that I do, it takes a large tote bag to carry everything that I may or may not need to leave the house, I am up at all hours of the night, I go in and check on Nate over and over throughout the night and sometimes just poke him to make sure he will respond - see all of the same things I did when he was a newborn.  The problem is this will never go away - ever!  Can I really survive on no sleep?  How can I possibly sleep through a night when there are so many things that could go wrong?  What if he goes too low over night?  What if he goes too high?  What if . . . What if . . . What if . . . ??

Today is the 2-month anniversary of Nate's Dx.  September 17th, 2009 - until that day we were just living this perfectly normal life and today it is so very different.  I feel like everyone is so tired of hearing about diabetes and me talking about it all of the time but it is my new world.  Everything that I do revolves around my son and his Type 1.  Everything!  I wake up, check his BGL, calculate how many carbs he will eat, then calculate how much insulin to give him, give him a shot, let him eat and then do it all again pretty much every 2 hours until 7:00 PM when he goes to bed when I can relax a bit until I check him again around 11:00 PM and again at 3:00 AM.  Really - this is my new reality and frankly it stinks!  So, I will continue to talk about it, live it, breathe it and eat it until there is a cure.  Every day Nate's life is in my hands - how scary is that?  Anyone that knows me well knows that that is pretty scary!  I'm the mom that goes to the grocery store without her wallet, backs into a car in the carpool line, and  always forgets to ask my kids if they need to pee before we leave the house (with 2 girls this is such an important step!).  I barely passed algebra in high school and now that I've figured out that I really do need it in the real world it's too late to go back and ask for tutoring!  I'm also the mom that has 3 fabulous children that I love so much I could just explode and the mom that would walk through fire for any one of them, I am the mom of a little boy with Type 1 diabetes and I will do this everyday for him because I love him to the moon and back.

These are just the ramblings of a super exhausted, overly emotional, slightly crazy D mom!  I just checked his BGL and am heading to bed.  Good night all . . .

8 comments:

Amy said...

((HUGS)) I so remember being where you are...and the only way I could describe my life so that people could understand me....was to tell them that it was like having my first newborn baby!
No...we don't get a lot of sleep...some nights we get virtually none! My body has adjusted to the once or twice nightly checks. I always check her at midnight- that's just her "time" to go low for some reason- so I give her a snack if I need to and then will set my alarm for 2 am if I'm unsure of how she's doing. It is tiring....but so worth it....because our kids are worth it!!!
You are doing a great job Laura! Hang in there and welcome to the world of crazy! :)

I couldn't even imagine how hard it would be to have a baby diagnosed. Mattie was 6, and she some what understood.

I am sure you will be able to sleep again...
Mattie has been very proactive since her diagnosis and she can give her own shots, test all by herslef, count carbs... it was a learning curve, but she works through it. So there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, and then another small challenge we will face.

You really are doing an amazing job, your kids are so lucky to have you. I really wish I could have a sleep over and then I could get up and help!! We do revolve around diabetes, and it's hard.

phonelady said...

I sure remember that time in my life and was it harder with me and my son being t1s ? of course it was just doubled and there were nights when I thought that I would never sleep again . it does pass and you will always wake up during bad things believe me when I say that . Hugs to you and you will sleep again one day . :)!!!

Joanne said...

It's like you took the words right out of my brain. Well said!

Hallie said...

Laura - you took the words right out of my mouth! So much of what you say is what I'm thinking and doing. Check out my last post - you'll see! We HAVE managed to sleep through the night a FEW times. It does get easier. But man - I'm right there with you! Falling asleep as we speak! Hang in there!

Laura.. I read your post with tears in my eyes. My heart goes out to you because i know just how you feel. Remember when nap time was fabulous?? Now its just another scary part of the day wondering if he is too high or too low. I feel the same way.. "are people sick of hearing me talk about Diabetes??" I cant help it! Its just like you said, it seems like its our whole life now! Thank you for finding me on blog and i hope we can get to know each other more. Im here if you need anything and I hope to talk with you soon :)

Jen said...

I just went to a diabetes support group last weekend and when the leader asked "So, whats going on with everyone?" I was the first to speak "I am not getting any sleep! When will this change..or will it?". Sounds like it might be a while before things change but it sure was nice to hear from other parents that I am not alone!!

AjsMommy82 said...

Ask your hubby to help! I know it's hard especially when us moms like to do it all but sleep makes life better!!!
You guys are all going to hate me but...I sleep all night long and so does my husband. I'm in bed by 10pm and depending on her bedtime number at 7pm I might check her then. My husband comes home at 12am and checks her at 1am before he goes to bed. And I get up with her between 6 & 7am and check her then. I know our system doesn't work for everyone but you could even switch nights so at least 1 person can get a full nights rest every other night.

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Just a Mom

I am NOT a doctor, nor do I play one on this blog.

I AM a wife.
I AM the mom of 3 wonderful children.
I AM my son's pancreas.

The information provided on this blog is from our personal experiences with Type 1 diabetes. Because something works for us does not mean it will work for you.

Please consult your doctor if you have any questions or concerns about your health care options.

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