So, since we are starting with Emma's birthday ---- let's talk about Mommy Guilt.
I've got it. It sucks.
Last months Sophie turned 5 and Emma's b-day was yesterday. We've done a joint b-day party for them every year since Sophie's 1st b-day. They are so fun - - - I have to admit - - - I've always been that mom that goes a little over the top (not WAY over the top) when planning parties. I love party planning and these are my 2 favorite girls so - you know - I go with it! We've had huge princes parties with Belle, Cinderella and Jasmine in attendance, we've celebrated at Disney World, a big Barbie and the Diamond Castle dance party and Pump - Pump - Pump it up parties!
Guess what kind of party they got this year ---- can you guess? Ummm - yea - NO Party. Nothing - not even a family party. I couldn't even get my shit together enough to pick out a restaurant to take them to this weekend to celebrate with my parents. Finally, my dad just chose a spot because we had a coupon from the Passport book (love the Passport book)! Seriously?
I wanted to do something - but it just didn't happen. I'm so sad about it. The girls haven't even mentioned it. Have they really not noticed?
I thought about doing a slumber party - how hard can that be - right? Wrong. The very thought of it threw me into a tailspin.
Sleep around here is precious - I get very little and the thought of inviting little people over here all night to NOT sleep - no thanks! So, again that makes me so sad! My girls are missing out on things because I'm just too tired to deal with it.
What makes it even worse is how guilty I feel about how much time and energy I put into the JDRF walk last year. I busted my butt, worked day and night, planning, making shirts, raising money and hosting fund-raisers and I couldn't put a little party together for my girls. WTF is wrong with me?
Is it depression or just exhaustion? I really don't know. It's something!
To make things worse yesterday Emma said "Mommy, I know your favorite place in the whole world!"
I try to catch naps when Jim is home and I think that Emma just thinks I'm one big, fat, lazy mommy! Ugh!
Shoot me now!
Parties Past . . .
|Emma 3 - Sophie 1|
|Emma 4 - Sophie 2 - Nate in my tummy!|
|B-day with Cinderella - AWESOME!|
|The Royal Family - Sophie 3 - Emma 5|
|One Rockin' Princess Dance Party!|
|Obviously - 4 and 6 here! :)|
|Super Fun Pump It Up Party!!|
I think I just need some sleep. Real sleep - like 1 night of uninterrupted sleep. Ok - maybe 2 or 3 nights of uninterrupted sleep, a 4 hour massage, followed by a facial and a couple of days of drinking Pina Coladas on the beach! Yep - I'm pretty sure that would cure me!